2.04.2010

Rethink...Finding Yourself

This week's discussion topic at Rethink What Matters is
RETHINK THE NEED TO FIND YOURSELF.
When I first saw the topic, I wasn't sure where to go with this.
I felt like I had answered the first question in this week's quiz
"Are you what you wanted to be when you "grew up?" 
Then I started to think {woooo-whooo!}.
The second question this week was
"Do you have a true passion?"
My answer was..."Yes it is...my kiddos."
So this question, and this answer messed with my head a little. First of all, when I decided to have children, I did not relinquish myself...my interests...my dreams, but I did commit to these little people to be all I can be, and to help them be all that they can be. They are the reason I live the way I live, and do what I do. So, my kids are my passion, but that doesn't mean that I cannot have my own passion...something that is all mine and does not involve a husband, kiddos, or of course anything illegal or immoral {let's be clear here}. 
Like many moms, I have gotten lost a little along the way. I think it happens all too often. We give and give to our kids, to our husbands, to our families. We are work at home moms, and we are stay at home moms, but we are individuals too. I know there is only so much time in the day...I stay up until all hours of the night catching up, reading, blogging, crafting...but clearly that is not the answer, I am exhausted and I live for mochas.

Even when I was single, I lost myself...it is so easy to do, no matter our age or marital status. Back then, I was caught up in my career. Caught up in advancing myself within my chosen industry. Caught up in being something - the right thing - to the {much older man} I was dating.

In trying to find myself, I am learning to enjoy the small moments of time when I get to do what I enjoy, what I want to do. I treasure hunt {code words for thrift stores and garage/estate sales}. I write {not always on my blog...that is another story}. I create - I cannot tell you how much fun I had with this last Valentine's tablescape. I am trying to do  "stream of consciousness journaling" to just express myself without inhibition or editing. I turn off the computer and lose myself in a movie. And, when there is not time for "more," I sit with a steaming hot mocha on my deck and listen to the waves crash and the seals bark. And, yes, many times that involves watching the kids play and giggle too, but that's OK, they are TWO of my passions, without everything they have taught me, I would not be the person I am.
So, ladies how do we do it? {OK, I will include the guys too...I have seen men get lost as well} How do we keep ourselves - our vibrant spirits - alive. How do we find time for ourselves? How do we not lose ourselves in our lives, in our children's lives, in our husbands lives? And, if we do lose ourselves, how do we find "us" again? And, finally, what is your passion? TELL ME...I want to know. Really, I do!
 
So, do it, go visit Rethink What Matters,
answer the five questions...
did I mention there are prizes?
{I have not won...maybe you will!}
Then come back next week for some more!
Happy Rethinking!
Holly
Rethink What Matters is a campaign by Bare Escentuals that challenges me...challenges all of us to Rethink What Matters. Each Friday through March 26, 2010, Bare Escentuals will pose a new topic for us to consider, to ponder, and to discuss. It is not just about makeup...it is about living your life and what is truly important. So gather your girlfriends...you never know what you'll discover! 

Want to join in on the discussion...
There are prizes and free products to be had..and more importantly thought provoking topics coming your way. Just visit Rethink What Matters to answer 5 simple questions. Then you can see how your answers compare with others. Seriously it takes no time at all to do this...and you may learn a little something about yourself or your friends! And if you are lucky enough to live in San Fransisco, New York, or Chicago the Quickie Van could be coming your way.
DISCLAIMER: So, here's the back story and legal who-ha I must include. I was contacted via email about this campaign and checked it out myself. I thought it was interesting and thought provoking. I was not paid for this review/post or compensated in any way (products or otherwise).

89 comments :

  1. losing your way somewhat is such a easy thing to do and I think we do it all too much, but I do love those times when you take the time to rediscover things that you love - the passion and drive that lasts for that 5 minutes is fun!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so right - it is easy to lose ourselves as we give to our families. Thanks for making me think!
    Stopping by to say Hi from FF!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hi =p this is my first time here..just to say hi from FF =P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just stopping by from Follow Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  5. There's a lot here to think about, Holly. The issues you bring up here mirror a many of my thoughts lately. My passions are writing and art, and I have been trying to rediscover/reinvent the roles both play in my current life, which seems to be changing as my kids get older. I had my kids young, so now they are both teens at a time when many of my friends are just starting their families or have very young children. I'm starting to realize that my babies will leave sooner than I'd like to think about--and that I'll have raised my kids and still be pretty young...and I don't know what any of that means for me...but it seems like a great time to rethink it all :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy FRIDAY FOLLOW, I am a previous follower.

    I have two giveaways going on Proactiv and Sticky Word Vinyl Lettering. Hope to see you.


    Rebecca @Buttons and Bows.
    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy Friday Follow! Following you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The silver lining about losing ourselves is finding us again! Here's to rethinking what matters. I do hope you win a prize soon. You are doing very well with these posts.

    Thanks also for linking up with Friday Follow!

    ~Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy Friday Follow! I am following you now:)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, that is a lot to think about. Especially since so many people who know me think of me as my parents' daughter, my husband's wife or my children's mother. That's a lot of identities, and an easy way to lose myself a little. I guess that's one of the attractions to blogging. My blog friends know me as me.

    My number one passion and priority will always be my family, my other passions change all the time, but are usually creative or expressive in some way. Design, art, and writing, just to name a few.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Losing ourselves happens alot when we think we are doing the right thing and giving it all to our family! We need to be 'us' for our families too, great post!
    I am a Friday Follower! Hope you will follow me back I have a great featured Artist today on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sopping by for friday follow! I am now following you. Stop by and visit me or follow anytime.
    Jennette

    http://www.smartandtrendymoms.com/
    http://rockincupcake.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  13. How do we keep ourselves - our vibrant spirits - alive. How do we find time for ourselves?

    I write. I pour myself into my novels, my short stories, and my blog. It is practically the only place in this world where it is just ME.

    ReplyDelete
  14. stopping in from FF and loving it here. I need a whole hour to check everything.
    Come see me at
    http://fallingupwardholly.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  15. Glad I found you - now following from Friday Follow! Stop by and see me!
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  16. Friday Following you :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Frifay follow....

    I know what you mean over the years I have lost myself too. Blogging is for me. I really enjoy it. Although my blog is mostly about coupons/discounts ect... visiting other blogs and commenting, I feel like I am connecting to other women like me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm a new follower via Friday Follow! Please come on over to The Penny-Pinching Mama

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are right, it is so easy to lose ourselves in whatever we are doing. I try and take time for some hobbies, and nap time is me time. I do not clean, I do not take care of anything that needs to get done, I do something for me.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Happy FF, I am now your newest Follower.

    Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you and all other moms for making the sacrifices that you do for children. There is no more important job in the world than that of parent.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello!
    I am following you from Friday Follow
    Hope to see you soon at http://luvsjurn3.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have no idea.

    I think it helps to start with one thing. Carve out that time every day to do the one thing that you love and that makes you feel alive.

    Clearly, I'm not expert on this in my mom jeans with my gray roots. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Visiting from Friday Follow! Come by anytime and enter a giveaway!
    http://www.tictacdough.blogspot.com

    Thanks,
    Maryann

    ReplyDelete
  25. I wish I had the answer- I thought blogging would help (and it has in a way) but I feel like I need to do more for myself. My kids will eventually grow up and move out, and I will need to have my own life. I'm hoping to figure some of it out soon...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just stopping by from Follow Friday! Awesome blog. Will continue to stop by for advice. Come by and check me out when you get a chance.
    Thanks~Diana

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love what you wrote! So well said, that we don't have to be just one thing.

    I love weddings...so jealous of you!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm following back for FF!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi, Friday following you.

    Come visit me at Mom-et-al.com

    -Maria

    /

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hello...Love your blog, found you on Friday Follow!

    http://knitsandreads.blogspot.com

    ~Lauri

    ReplyDelete
  30. Happy Friday Follow!I'm already your follower, but I wanted to stop by and say anyway!! By the way the place settings and garden tea party in the post below this- is TO DIE FOR!!! Holy Cow! Beautiful!!! Hope your doing well?

    Hugs,

    Shannon at:http://www.milkandcuddles.com/

    ReplyDelete
  31. Very interesting. I've definitely lost myself in motherhood but I'm working on it. I don't think getting lost in one facet of identity at the exclusion/expense of all else does ANYONE any favors.

    Happy Friday Follow!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi, lovely blog. Stopping by from the Friday Follow. Peace

    ReplyDelete
  33. the cutest bunny i have ever seen....

    ReplyDelete
  34. Such a true and honest post. I think blogging helps us to "refind" ourselves and our own voice.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love this post, so sweet and made me think! What is Friday Following that everybody is talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  36. I do lose myself often. Sometime it is good to not be self-focused because it is natural to be selfish. However, there is a proper balance.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I have finally started to realize how much of myself I let go. I am starting to rediscover me and bring me back to the surface. I have really enjoyed these "rethink" topics! They are great.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hey Holly! Just dropping in to follow you back on Friday Follow. I can't wait to read more! ~Lanie

    ReplyDelete
  39. Happy Friday Follow! I'm following you! :)

    (I'm really just getting started with blogging, but I'd be thrilled if you followed me, too. Thank you!)

    http://trixiestreatsandsweeps.blogspot.com/2010/02/mcklinky-blog-hop.html

    ReplyDelete
  40. Started following with FF. Cute Blog.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Friday following you back! Thanks for the visit.

    itsahodgepodgelife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  42. Great post! Stopping by from FF :)

    Happilyeveryaftermyway.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hi Holly,
    Friday following you back. Thanks for the visit! I grabbed your button, and would love to see mine on yours! It's new and I just LONG to see it on someone's blog!

    I can't wait to hear more from you!
    ~Gay~
    itsahodgepodgelife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you for this post. I sometimes find it so easy to lose myself in family, etc. etc. It's good to think about figuring out how to "find myself"!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Ah Holly,
    You are a terrific writer! This was so true in a poignant way, I too loose myself and give myself too little credit.

    God made me - ME... and I don't appreciate that enough. :) Good thoughts!

    ReplyDelete
  46. The problem with giving your all to your kids (I did and I don't regret it) is that when they leave home...you aren't quite sure what to do with yourself. You are still a mom (believe me...it doesn't end) but you don't have all those activities that filled every evening and every weekend. You have FREE TIME which is wonderful and yet you don't quite know how to use it. As for my passion...it changes. I get caught up in one thing and I'm completely obsessed and then I find something else that interests me and that carries me away for a while.

    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  47. GREAT post!!

    so important for us to stay in touch with ourselves because if we lose that...we truly aren't very good for our husbands, children, etc...

    i am stopping by from follow me friday and am now a follower!! i'd love to see you visit me!!

    xxoo happy weekend!
    k

    www.heartwingsisters.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  48. Thanks for stopping by my garden today... I love new visitor who are ready to come over and play with all my colors.....

    Will follow here for sure...grab a button and be back soon.

    Off to look around. I see so many of my friends already on your blog roll... yipee.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Like anything else, you just have to remind yourself to do it! Keep the goal
    of who you want to be and the vision of how to get there in your mind (or on a stick note in front of you at all times).

    I actually have a playlis. On my Ipod called In case you forget that is full of songs that remind me what is importan, what I love, and what makes me happy.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Following you from Friday Follow. Have a great week!

    http://dreamweaversculpts.blogspot.com/
    http://sonyasgrooming.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  51. Hi Holly,
    I run on coffee (black) so feel right at home here. I can tell already you have an interesting blog.
    Thanks for stopping by and saying hi via FF. Who knows you might be the lucky winner of my giveaway..could happen! Take care.
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  52. You are right on the mark...it is too easy to lose ourselves, trying so hard to be what we think the people around us want us to be. Right now I'm struggling with the perfect mom vision in my head and falling short. I need to step back and do some serious re-evaluating...I just don't seem to have the time... :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Love this... and I love BE. Thanks for introducing it to me!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thanks for stopping by! Now following you, your blog looks great :) Have a good weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  55. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  56. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  57. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  58. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  59. HI!!
    Following you back from Friday Follow!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Great post. How true... it is so easy to lose track of who we are.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm following you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  61. This has been on my mind the past week. Rethink & refocus. I really need to get some things in order

    ReplyDelete
  62. Happy Friday Follow - I'm following you now.

    ReplyDelete
  63. what a wonderful posting, I am so happy I discovered your blog, your creativity, thoughts about motherhood, life and more. Thank you for visiting my blog and your kind comment. A fashionable background is a wonderful base for so much in life. Best wishes, n.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Great post... Looks like I need to check out this Friday follow!!

    ReplyDelete
  65. This is so true! I feel like I'm still trying to find my way back to me.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog! I really enjoyed yours so it was a pleasure to have you at mine!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Happy SITS Saturday funfest.

    I went through I similar period where I was giving so much to my marriage that I lost me. I started to resent my husband even though it wasn't his fought but once I took "me" back I'm a better friend, wife, daughter and overall happier person.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Hi Holly - thanks for following my blog. Yours both look great and I am now following =)

    anna from www.theowlandthephoenix.com

    ReplyDelete
  69. Holly, I marvel at you! I truly do. I have no idea how you do it. Sometimes (rarely) I have no idea how I do it. Maybe my 3 daily capuccinos help.
    www.angiemuresan.com

    ReplyDelete
  70. I'm a late Friday Follower. Glad to have found you!

    ReplyDelete
  71. I have an award for you on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  72. I came from Friday Follow! I'm going through the list :)

    ReplyDelete
  73. Fabulous blog! I'm still making my way through Friday Follow & am now your newest fan :)

    ReplyDelete
  74. I've been going through a lot of this lately---and it's hard. I just took that quiz too, and it was so fun/interesting!

    ReplyDelete
  75. I did lose myself along the way and I was lost for a long time not knowing what my passion was except being mom. I decided to find myself 4 months ago and I am having a great time doing it.

    Come by I have something for you

    http://findingthepotofgold.blogspot.com/2010/02/sharing-loveawards-awards-and-more.html

    ReplyDelete
  76. Hope you enjoy the beer bread.
    Thanks for coming by and leaving some comment luv.

    ReplyDelete
  77. wonderfully put Holly- so very true to my life as well.

    ReplyDelete
  78. i love to read your deep thougths LOL but seriously I think you write well and put a lot of time and change the color fonts etc.. and the topics are always great, I am still finding all that for me, what did you go to college for?? your so talented? home design, journalistic???
    How long have you been blogging? I am having such a hard time find a lot of moms or teachers to follow me? blog traffic still learning how. how does www.themomblogs.com work do they help?? well I wish I could come eat at your beautiful table but have a seat for me, sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Stopping by to say hello with Friday Follow. What a beautiful table setting in your previous post.

    I love Bare Escentuals.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I heard a speaker once say that your children will look for a spouse that is a whole person if you have been one. It is hard to not get lost in family, blogging, a job, or other things. I really want JDaniel to find someone who is balanced and whole.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Ops, I totally loved this post! I think the secret is to keep going on and don't loose your inner child...

    I have passion for so many things...the problem with me is that I should keep focusing only for one and just go for it...than maybe one day I will be what I wanted to be when I grew up :-)

    Thanks for the link, I will definitely keep doing this quiz....

    Hope you having a lovely Sunday, cheers: Evi

    ReplyDelete
  82. I totally got lost over the years and am just now finding myself again. I LOVE it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hi Just stopping by from the Follow Friday. I'm already following you. Glad you joined the hop again this week.

    Tami
    www.heartsmakefamilies.com

    ReplyDelete
  84. hey, thanks for following shaking the tree via friday follow, I know its sunday, work work work..

    great post and oh so true about losing yourself. some food for thought. my dreams are scattered and unfocused at the moment. need to reflect.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I am late with Friday following. Nice blog. I'll be back. =)

    ReplyDelete
  86. I agree, it is easy to lose yourself, especially in the scheme of life with the kids. It IS so important to rememebr who we ARE as women and people. I also try to find time to do the things that bring me joy, such a writing.

    Great post. I have to go check out that link...

    ReplyDelete
  87. I did the ReThink quiz last week and plan on stopping by every week. I LOVE BE! I agree with you in that being a mom made me who I am today. I am still a work in progress and I hope I always will be. My life is so different now than I ever imagined it to be. I love the thought of sitting with a mocha and listening to the waves. I'm sitting with my chai and watching it snow, does that count? LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  88. - it is easy to lose ourselves as we give to our families. Thanks for making me think!

    Domain registration india

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by! I read and appreciate all of your sweet words and the time you have spent on my blog. I try hard to respond to comments and visit your blogs... eventually, but I will be honest life is pretty crazy right now!

Thanks for swinging by my place. See ya soon!