Friday, March 12, 2010

Rethink Friends With Benefits

Hey Everyone! Happy Friday!
It's time for Rethinking day with
Today's topic is loaded...
Rethink Friends With Benefits.
I had a friend with {some} benefits once
{get your minds out of the gutter peeps - I said some benefits!}
and it wasn't so beneficial.

So, in keeping with my G and sometimes PG rated blog, let's chat about friendships. Personally, I think all friendships come with benefits. All friendships are not the same and friends come in and out of our lives for different reasons...and let's face it sometimes that's the part that hurts our hearts.

Some friends inspire.
Some friends push you towards greatness.
Some friends are always ready to listen.
Some friends you just have fun with.
And if you are lucky, you find a few special people
that encompass all of these things.
When a friendship is good and true and real it stands the test of time.
Now, let's explore some friendships....

"Girl" Friends
I have a group of 3 friends...two of them I have know since 2nd grade. One of the group I met in my sophomore year of high school. At one point we all lived in So. Cal. We graduated high school together, went off to college and came back. We went to each others weddings...we were in each others weddings, we laughed, we cried, we had fun...and as we got married and had kids, our kids played together. Two of us have moved from So. Cal. {I am one} and we all do not talk as much as I would like or as we used to, but I know that I can call any of them at any time and they will be there for me...that is a friend with benefits.

"Boy" Friends
Some time after college, I ended up hanging out with a group of boys I had known since high school {and some before}. It was perfect...none of them were dating anyone say, and I was dating someone...but it was not quite "right." When I look back, it was some of the best times of my life. We went to clubs and bars, we went water skiing and boating, we had BBQ's. I was even the "go-to" gal for work parties and events - I got to go to a lot of cool events. I reconnected with them all via Facebook, and saw them at my high school reunion and was reminded of the fun times. Times have all changed after I got married. But I will always remember the ease we had with each other and the friendships that meant so much to me at that time of my life...And really, what is better than celebrating Easter with burnt hamburgers and guacamole while watching the Ten Commandments?

{Old} New Friends
When I had to move a few years back, I was terrified. How was I supposed to make new friends? My entire life was in L.A. Well, it took a little while, but it happened. I was warmly welcomed by some wonderful ladies up here and am so thankful for the friendships that have welcomed us in our new home. They provide fun and friendship and support beyond what I could ever imagine. I would be remiss to not mention the friends I have reconnected with via Facebook...without FB, I would have missed out on "new" relationships that I never expected or imagined I would find.

"Blog" Friends 
How can I not mention all my new blog friends. When I first started this blog, I expected nothing really. I figured I would ramble on and I urged a few friends to follow. Boy was I wrong...I am truly amazed at the inspirational and talented and witty men and women I have met in blogland. I am thankful for the interaction I have with everyone and am truly enjoying the connections I have found here.

That's it...a look a some friendships in my life. I am happy and blessed to have been friends with some amazing people...some are still a part of my life and others are not, but they are not forgotten, nor has their imprint on my life.

Have you had a friend with benefits? What do you consider to be a benefit? Do you offer any benefits? {keep it clean people! I sure hope I am not deleting obnoxious comments tomorrow from the jokesters out there.}

Go visit Rethink What Matters. Answer the five questions...{did I mention there are prizes?} Then come back next week for some more!
Happy Rethinking!
Rethink What Matters is a campaign by Bare Escentuals that challenges me...challenges all of us to Rethink What Matters. Each Friday through March 26, 2010, Bare Escentuals will pose a new topic for us to consider, to ponder, and to discuss. It is not just about is about living your life and what is truly important. So gather your never know what you'll discover! 

Want to join in on the discussion...
There are prizes and free products to be had..and more importantly thought provoking topics coming your way. Just visit Rethink What Matters to answer 5 simple questions. Then you can see how your answers compare with others. Seriously it takes no time at all to do this...and you may learn a little something about yourself or your friends! And if you are lucky enough to live in San Fransisco, New York, or Chicago the Quickie Van could be coming your way.
DISCLAIMER: So, here's the back story and legal who-ha I must include. I was contacted via email about this campaign and checked it out myself. I thought it was interesting and thought provoking. I was not paid for this review/post or compensated in any way (products or otherwise).


  1. I have a great circle of friends for sure. Some are introverted/thinkers/academics, some lift me up and believe in me, all of them point me to my faith and remind me of God's love for me. I guess the benefit I offer is that I never "catch and release". Once you earn the title of friend, you can't lose it with me. Even after a very painful encounter with a friend that ended with us parting ways...I still pray for her and her kids and hubby all of the time. She will always have a piece of my heart. Night, night...(yawn) Holly:)

  2. I love all my friends... but I certainly call on different people at different times of my life. I've been told my strengths include encouraging & cheerleading. And cake!

  3. Very cute play on "friends with benefits" here. I would like to think that all my friends are beneficial to me and that we each bring a lot to each others' lives. I will say that I'm making peace a lot as I get older with the people I'm losing touch with and trying to remember the great times we had and not the great distance between us now. Cute post Holly.

  4. "...celebrating Easter with burnt hamburgers and guacamole while watching the Ten Commandments."

    Creative post and thanks for the laughs while reading it.

  5. Having moved around so often {my husband is a naval officer} I've had the chance to meet some really great people. Some I've kept in touch with an others have gone on their way and that's all right. My close friends are those I made when I was in high school and college. They are the ones that I call.


  6. I heard a story similar to this recently on the Today Show about the different kinds of friends that all women should have. So true. And, I like your addition of bloggy friends. Me too never knew this whole world existed on line, how crazy is that! The difficult part is keeping up on all of your friendships when there is hardly time to breath in our busy world!

  7. great read that is so true. We can have so many "differnt" types of friends. Have a nice weekend.

  8. Stopping by from Trendy Treehouse Friday Follow to say HI! Come by and say Hi!

  9. This is a fun post to read for a friday!

    I have a group of 5 "girl" friends that we like to call ourselves the Fab 5 :)

    Because we have such fabulous qualities to add to each other's lives!

  10. I love this post and your blog!!! So many awesome topics! I will definitely be back to read more. I have a great group of friends myself, and when I think about it, there IS so many benefits to having each and every one as a friend. ;)

    Come visit me sometime!

  11. I also just added your button ;)

  12. I only have one friend from high school who I really keep in touch with, well before facebook that it, now I chat with a lot. But my best friends the ones that I know even if we don't talk much I will always be friends with I met in college.

    Friends were so important, then I got married and they didn't matter as much.. but then I became a stay at home mom and they were truly so important once again. You need that outlet.

  13. I too have a group of 3 great girl friends picked up through Highschool and somehow we've all stayed close even though we aren't all in the same city and have very different lives. I really think you only need about 3-4 "good" friends...
    And I totally agree with you about how wonderful it is making "Blog friends" who wudda thunk there would be some many great girls with blogs!?!

  14. had me at friends with benefits. You are so thoughtful. I see big things for this bloggy!

  15. Love this post. We ahve so many different types of friends and all are important to differents developments of our lives.

  16. GRRRRRRRREAT POST! And yes, yes I have had a friend with benefits. *sigh*

  17. I talk to most of my friends via email and facebook, now, because they have all moved away. There is one friend who lives fairly close, but we never hear from him anymore. He got remarried and his wife doesn't seem to like us (or maybe it's just me she doesn't like, I don't know). It makes me feel really bad because we were really close. He and his son spent nearly every Friday and Saturday evening with us. Since he met his wife, we've seen him once. We weren't even invited to the wedding.

    I love my blog friends! It amazes me how much I know/care about people I've never met in person. I think it's awesome!

  18. What a great post :) Friends are the best things is life next to family :)

  19. I agree, all friendships are beneficial! I just hope that I can be the kind of friend that benefits others too.

    What a great post! I love the spin on "Friends with benefits".

    You're awesome! I seriously LOVE your blog!

  20. I've had many friends throughout my life. Some bad, some good, some with benefits.

    I find that older I get my criteria for friends are changing and I have higher expectations. That's why I have only one real close friend right now,lol.

    I always though of myself as the friend with benefits due to fact that majority of my "friends" took advantage of my personality.

    Now I benefit from my friend and she benefits from me. We are not keeping tabs, but I can say it's pretty even.

  21. So, I have to admit that my mind went right to the gutter!

    I don't know what I would do with out all of the friends I have in my life. I have a handful of very close friends. They might as well be my sisters. I have lots of social friends. The ones I love to see at parties and run in to at events. And, the friends I never expected to make - my bloggy friends. All of my friends make my life what it is!

  22. you are right there are so many different kinds of friends, and they serve different purposes in our lives, and us in theirs. I'd say that the few I'm super close to are more like family to me since I never felt connected to my family growing up. Now of course i have my own family but still, the closest friends I consider among that small group.

    Very interesting post!
    I hope you have a great weekend,

  23. What a fantastic post! I love your blog and so glad I found it on Follow Me Friday. I am now your newest follower;)

  24. That is so wonderful that you still have friends that you've known since 2nd grade- WOW! And WooHoo- I'm your latest Friday Follower- hope you stop by my place too :-)

  25. I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I have one friend that I've known since we were 11, but we live a few hours from each other so visits and covnersations are limited. Other than that I have a lot of female acquaintances, but I've always had closer friendships with guys. Not sure why, really.

  26. Holly I so enjoyed reading this post.
    It made me rethink friends who are still friends and those who left.
    I am loving FB as I am reconnecting with people I haven't seen in years gone by.

    *Friday Follow*

  27. Before marriage, I had lots of male friends. I am still friends with the gal I grew up with. She is my BFF. I have contact with people I went to high school with.

    I spent 14 years moving around from place to place, and I don't make friends all that easily. I still don't, but I have friends where I live now, and in the bloggy world.

  28. I moved around a lot as a kid and therefore didn't have any close friends for many years. I never really learned how to stick with a friend because I never was around long enough to learn that lesson. That didn't help me as an adult because I usually hold back from people automatically. I have one close friend and it's to her credit that I have her as a friend since she stuck by me rather than the other way around. Now that I'm nearing middle age I am making an effort to meet people, whether they be bloggers or not since I've realized that it'd be nice to have more than one person to call on when I want to do something. So far it seems to be going okay. Baby steps.

  29. Hi Holly,
    Visiting from TMC! Great post - I'm still friends with my first friends I met at 4 years old. Even though we're now in different states, I can call them any time.

    I'll be back for more!

  30. Holly~
    Thank you so much for the sweet comments left on my blog today and for following.
    I am now following your blog...interesting topics!

    Have a beautiful weekend!!

  31. When you speak of friends with benefits, I smile and am thankful for the blessings those true friends in my life have given me.

    I am also saddened by those friendships that stand out as having been toxic. We've all had those friend(s) that drain us, drag us down and take way more than we were willing to give sometimes. However even in that there was a positive benefit...the things I've learned about myself through that process has helped to shape who I am today. I'm really good with the 'today me'.

    Great introspective post Holly!

  32. I came to your blog from new friend friday and I am a new follower. Looking forward to exploring your beautiful, interesting blog. I really like your description of yourself as "delightfully cynical and bitterly cheerful" - that reminds me of me! I'd love for you to stop by my blog, Take care!

  33. Girl friends are a plenty for me. I still keep in touch with my two BFF's from HS...from there I have formed friendships from playgroups long ago, still have them, current friendships and plenty of girl nights and fun!~ I love my bunco group, every women should have one! I love your new blog layout very nice!

  34. I love this series you are doing. Thoughtful. I read an article in Parenting mag (?) fairly recently talking about the different mommy friends a mom has also. It was funny and so true. Like, "we have no clue" friend and "veteran" friend. Meaning - you need someone to navigate the uncertainties of parenthood together but you also need a friend who's "been there, done that" and can help you figure out what matters and what doesn't.

  35. I have one friend that I've known since we were 11, but we live a few hours from each other so visits and covnersations are limited. Other than that I have a lot of female acquaintances, but I've always had closer friendships with guys. Not sure why, really

    Work From Home

  36. That is a whole lotta friends! *Smiles* I love this post, it really outlines what friends are all about and reminds us what's important. Terrific post... very well said.

    Oh! And Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

  37. Get my mind out of the gutter? Where's the fun in that??

    Lamb’s Most Recent (FUNNY) Post:HGTV Dream Home: I Know Who’s Going To Win

  38. Hey, 1 more thing! If you're interested, I'd love to exchange blog buttons with you! I'm having a tricky time finding yours though (I've only been awake about 15 minutes and haven't had any coffee yet, so please give me a break!)

  39. oh I loved all my "BOY" friends in high school. I too think back on those times and remember them as some of the best. Sad how it all changes after you get married, but I guess that's the way life is. I wouldn't want my husband having really close "GIRL" friends :)
    Love this post, so fun to think about all the different kinds of friends.

  40. What a nice post.

  41. I will have an award on my post for you in the morning!

  42. I have a best friend that I have know for almost 40 years

  43. Good morning, new blogging buddy! I just wanted to let you know that your button is up on my site and is looking fabulous! :)

  44. I love this post Holly. Friends with benefits is funny for the connotation usually associated with the term, but oh so true. Friendships should be a two way street. I think everyone has encountered that one friend who always takes, and takes, and takes, until there just isn't anything left.

    But most friends serve a purpose. Lift us up, make us smile, cry with us when we are sad, but most of all remind us who we are!

  45. Hi. Just found you through TMC. Lovin' your blog. Have an amazing eveing! Jamie

  46. Hi. Just found you through TMC. Lovin' your blog. Have an amazing eveing! Jamie

  47. Found your blog on today's Lady Blogger's tea party :) What a great post - new subscriber here! I love my friends whom a lot, I have reconnected with on Facebook. The benefits are sharing memories, reminiscing the good times and just being there for each other. Facebook was such an awesome invention!

  48. Found you today.

    Nice style. Lovely write up.

  49. Holly, what a wonderful post! Being new to blogging I can now appreciate the gift of blogging friends. Thanks for visiting me at Frosted Petunias. So glad you're following me and Mrs Bunnie on our adventure. I spent many years working for Lancome and Clarins way back in my retail days so I understand the makeup thing too!

  50. You hit it on the nail. I wouldn't have friends if there weren't any benefits. Those are laughn jokin and bringn out the best in each other

  51. very nice post
    I love it
    and you are one of my new
    blog friends too, so it is
    even better.

  52. Hi Holly,

    I really enjoyed this post. I too moved away from my close friends and had to 'start over'. I am thankful for my three best friends back home in Toronto.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and becoming a follower too. I'm glad you enjoyed my post. :)


  53. Holly, I enjoy reading about women with lasting friendships. I have made many friends along the way, through my blog, through Facebook, and I enjoy them all.

  54. I've been isolated here in Florida, and if it weren't for my yearly visits back home to see friends, it would be impossible.
    Those are the only friends with benefits I've ever cared to have.

  55. There's going to be an award for you on my blog tomorrow. :)

  56. friends with benefits, like a couple who are handy around the house. and one friend who adores returning things for me. go figure.

    best benefits: caring, listener, honest and always has my back.

    i give any-all talent i possess and am loyal.

  57. great post, holly! i couldn't agree more. it's definitely rare to find friends who emcompass all the "benefits":) i feel truly blessed to have several of these friends in my life:)

  58. Awesome, awesome post, Holly! I sometimes feel down because I don't have a lot of friends who encompass all these qualities anymore but with a quick shift in perspective, I realize how much I appreciate the few I have who DO.

  59. People (and friends) come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.


Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation! I sure hope you come back for more!