Thursday, December 31, 2009

Writer's Workshop: This Time I'm the Winner

I was seriously going to skip it this week
and recharge for the new year,
but I took a peek and couldn't not resist...
another wedding related prompt...and man oh man do I have a story!
So the prompt is "#3 Write about a speech you gave at a wedding."
Well, I am going to take liberties here...this speech is not mine,
but never in one million years could I do better...really!

(NOT my brother or his wife!)

To set the scene...
My brother decided to get married two weeks before me...
in Laughlin, NV. So, since I was super organized and
had nothing left to do for my own wedding (right!),
we hopped in the car and headed to Laughlin.
This part of the story could be long....very long...
and we would have to call in a therapist.
It is not pretty, so we'll skip it...for now.

This Time I'm the Winner
The wedding was on a riverboat at noon. My brother, and his friends...and my cousins...and the dad's...and any other male (other than my future hubby) were trashed by the time the wedding was supposed to start...seriously there was a trail of beer cans leading from the hotel to the boat dock. (I shall also skip the wedding those for another will be worth it...I promise!)

As the bride began her walk down the aisle, my brother and his best man (and everyone else) each took one last swig of their beers. My brother was still holding his until he realized it, and then passed it off to the Best Man who finished it.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, the boat captain handed the bride and groom "I Got Hitched on the S.S. Riverside" T-shirts (wonder if they still have them?) and then passed his mic off to the Best Man. There was no champagne to be poured, just a few Coors Light cans to be passed around (if you were lucky).
And, so began his toast...

Best Man says...
"Dude, I love this guy.
(turns to my brother)
No, really, dude I love you man.
I have known you since Kindergarten.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
You are my best friend.
You are good at everything.
You have always been better than me...
at sports...
in school...
with girlfriends...
but this time I'm the winner."

Enough said.
Aren't you jealous you are not at my family events?


  1. OMG! That would be hilarious....probably for everyone else BUT the bride....I am glad I wasn't her....but GREAT story!

  2. Holly, I don't remember when was the last time I read a blog that made me laugh as much as this one. I'm pretty sure it was one of yours!! Can't wait for the wedding details!

  3. What a speech! Can't believe he said that! What a goof!

    Visiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I used the super power prompt.

  4. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!
    First, how DARE they do that to you!!

    Second, that is definitely a speech that will go down in history! I laughed my butt off over here - waking the husband :o)

    Now the question is - are they still happily married??

    HAPPY NEW YEAR Miss Holly!!!!

  5. Now that is the best wedding speech ever! And sounds like it was one classy wedding!!!

    I came by from Mama Kat's and I am totally loving your blog!

  6. OMG that is hilarious. Now I am dying to hear the full unabridged version of the wedding! I will say that at my wedding my dh's brother gave one of the weirdest best man speeches I have ever heard. He is a great guy, but goofy and his speech was, well, goofy. Thank goodness my maid of honor saved the day with a much better speech!

  7. Anonymous7:50 AM

    One of those things that's hilarious as long as you're not the recipient! Does your brother's wife still let them be friends...surprised she didn't push him overboard!

  8. I'm guess you didn't plan their wedding, Holly! Oh my goodness...did things turn out OK with them?

  9. Did the bride and groom remember this speech when they sobered up?

    Are they still friends?

    Was he serious?

  10. NICE one!! This was hilarious!

  11. Look at it this way, you'll never run out of things to blog about! :)


  12. Great post. Did you get t-shirts from your wedding? :-) I love hearing about other people's families. Makes me feel normal.

    visiting via mama kat.

  13. OH. MY. GOD!!! This is almost as good as the speech at my wedding!! LOVE IT!!


  14. Did the bride then spend a few years trying to kill the best man? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Another example of why I don't do wedding speeches. {*grin*}

  15. Oh dear, and I thought the toast my BIL gave at ours was BAD!

  16. The are still married...and they are still friends (after a little break)

  17. Holly, what a classy affair! I've heard of beer cans attached to the bumper of the wedding car, but it sounds like your brother's crew took the tradition to a new low ~ scattered beer cans replaceming rose petals strewn down the aisle!

  18. OMG....Did that really happen?! Glad you made it down the asile.

    Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!!

  19. So the bride's reaction definitely would have been say the very least!

  20. Anonymous2:38 PM

    Oh my goodness! I'm sure she wasn't very happy! But it's really funny!

  21. Oh my...I'm trying to picture my mother at such an event...nope, can't do it! Great story (glad I don't have one like it!)

    Happy New Year!


  22. Hahaha...that is awesome!! Everybody needs a friend like he still single?

    He could really make a similar speech when your brother starts having kids.

  23. HAHAHAHA! I can't help it, but I totally flashed on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. It doesn't seem like anything that could ever happen in real life. I am looking forward to the details as well.

  24. oh so funny ...want to hear more!!!

  25. Shoosh! That's putting the ass in class!

  26. Anonymous8:02 PM

    great speeches

  27. Having flash backs to my BIL's wedding where drunk people made toast after toast after toast, lol. Happy New Year ;)

  28. Great story!

    Happy New Year!

    I hope it is warm and bright!

  29. I seriously would love to be a fly on the wall of your family events! This is just too funny! I almost peed myself from laughing!! What happened next? That poor bride! Please tell me someone yanked the mic from that guy...threw him overboard...sucker punched him...gagged him with and S.S. Riverside shirt...something!
    So glad you decided to post this! And thanks to your SIL for the laugh we had at her expense!!]
    Happy New Year friend!
    Kelli @ SustainingCreativity

  30. Anonymous6:45 PM

    Now that is a classic story! Great read today.

  31. I am a little jealous. That is so funny! Do they even remember this glorious event?!!

  32. Dude, that was a beautiful speech.

    PS Happy New Year to you and your family!

  33. My brother's best man behaved at the actual ceremony, but he had similar thoughts. And actually the best man came from out of state because none of my brother's local friends would stand up with him a the wedding. The best man regretted it after a week staying with the couple before the wedding.

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Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation! I sure hope you come back for more!