Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bill Was No Thrill

I am so excited to be a part of the inaugural
I have been following TT&R basically since
I started blogging and I really enjoy her blog
{and she is kind of a neighbor}
and now she is doing this new excited {squeal!}.
I choose "The Worst Date Ever" prompt. Now pretty much every date I went on could qualify for this, so the winner...the featured "one that {thankfully} got away" truly earned this honor because of how he ended the date.

Bill Was No Thrill
My friends are I were season ticket holders for the Los Angeles Kings. After each game we would head to The Kettle, a glorified Denny's-type restaurant in Manhattan Beach - we had always done this, but in recent times some of the players had begun to frequent the establishment and other the bars in the we could eat and check out cute hockey players {I am a sucker for a hockey player}.

All through our late night meal, while I was looking at hockey players, this man had been staring at me. At this point I didn't date much - I was {OK, still am} a little awkward and was finding my self back then. He finally came over and introduced himself...Bill was his name....and I was {stupid and} all giddy. It actually hurts to think about how ridiculous I was.

He called the next day for a date...I went...whatever. He called for another...I went...whatever...When he called for a third date, he suggested a hill top restaurant that was more out his way. So, I offered to meet him out there.

I arrived at the restaurant, and discovered he was late, and had also invited another couple...a married couple from his work to join us. He acted as though we had been dating for awhile and via the conversation, I deduced he had told the other couple I was his girlfriend. It was just awkward, as the other couple started making out...lips smacking, hands groping, people moaning...EEWWW!  Eventually, Bill's brother and some other friends joined us...Saved...for now! Eventually, the group headed over to Bill's house, a house he shared with his brother.

Before I continue on, can I reinforce the fact that I was not really into this guy. Poor Bill was boring and little into himself. He paid for the dates {bonus points}, but made me yawn. He wasn't necessarily rude, or mean, or crass...or so I thought.

At one point, Bill excused himself, and at the brothers cue, the other guests mysteriously disappeared. A few minutes later Bill reappeared in a pair of rainbow striped bikini underwear. Bill was not attractive nor unattractive he just was and really was nothing to behold in a pair of bikini underwear.
Me:"Um...excuse me?"
Bill: "Do you like them?"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Bill" "They are for you. It is the third date."
Me: "...and that means....."
{OK, I am not stupid...I know what he wanted...he wasn't getting it...but a little torture was in order}
Bill: "It's time."
Me: "For me to go. Bye."

Needless to say, I didn't get a call the next day...but 9 months later I did.
Bill: "Hi, this is Bill. Have you been thinking about me?"
Me: "Who is this?" {I knew who it was}
Bill: "Bill, of course your remember. Don't play games with me. I have been thinking about you. Have you been thinking about me?"
Me: "I do not even know who this could I be thinking about you?"
Bill: "Oh, come on. I am sure you wondered where I was."
Me: "What did you say your name was again?"
Bill: "Holly, how can you say you don't know me."
Me: "Sorry, I have dog poop to pick up."

Poor Bill he was no thrill, except in his own mind.

Now the other prompt was "How did you met your husband/wife?" For that story, you can read my lovely little poem, The Boy With No Socks.


Comeback tomorrow for DIY Day...I hope!


  1. I'm surprised that after nine months you still remembered him. But then again, I guess the "undies" did leave an impression. Sounds like William assumed that things happen after two dates.

  2. ROTFL Bill sounds a bit strange.

  3. LOL! Rainbow brite undies seared in your could you ever forget! Great story!

  4. This is so funny - probably a little scary and extremely creepy for you but it did make me laugh. I can understand you not wanting to see if there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!! Sorry! Well handled over the phone too x

  5. Did you ever see the movie Kill Bill? That is what I was thinking LOL!~ What a cheese ball! Have a great day Holly!

  6. Bwahahahahaha!

    Oh please can I make the 'Little Willy' comment?

    (This is bound to give me nightmares, and, it must be something about SoCal men because I had the same type of thing pulled once, long ago on a date... but without the cheerful and ever-so-much more memorable rainbow-striped undies...)

    Lovely Blog, by the way.
    Kind regards from Kitty

  7. Well I guess Bill learned what happens when you assume! *giggling*

    Thank you so much for playing along, this story was worth the wait!

  8. Hello!! What a loser, it's the third day so he brings you underwear!?! Holy crap! I cannot even believe that. So glad you pretended not to remember him.

  9. OMG! I am not sure what to say. This guy was creepy! Ewwwwwwwwwww!!! And the term "legend in his own mind" comes to mind.

  10. Anonymous10:25 AM

    That was definitely good riddance...going over to check out your poem now.

  11. I don't think it was a good idea for me to take a sip of my coffee right at the same time as the words "a pair of rainbow striped bikini underwear" appeared. Lmao, I am sure your will power (won't power) was really tested that second. How could you resist that?

  12. Holy BALLS!

    That was almost painful to read because I felt bad for Bill for being so stupid!

    And he called you 9 months later?!?!?! That is so weird.

  13. Your responses were so snappy! I love it! I can't believe he came out in underwear. What a d-bag!!!

  14. OMG...people really act like that?!? So full of themselves? I would have changed my phone number immediately after he called again!! Geez.

  15. Ok, I almost dropped my laptop when I read the rainbow bikini part. And then he called back? sheesh. hilarious.

  16. Oh no. How awful. I'm so glad you bailed!

  17. Nothing ever surprises me anymore. What kind of nutty do you have to be to walk out in multi-colored shorts thinking that's gonna get you lucky? And then to call months later expecting to 'strike' it up again?!? There are some seriously lame-a$$ men out there!

  18. Proof positive that (s)he who cares the least wins!

  19. The rainbow undies had me dying, but when you said you had dog poop to pick up! Oh my word! HAHAHAHHA! He's like that dork in the comedy shows who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips! And really not even the crumbs. LOL.

  20. Very cute... at least he was a thrill in his own mind. LOL

  21. Oh GOODNESS. Bill sounds like a very strange son of a gun. ha! To have the nerve to come out in bikini underwear... and why rainbow??

    That date sounds super awkward with all the making out and all! PBA is not my thing, and makes me quite uncomfortable.

    As for the phone call, I would have pretended I didn't know him to!

    I thought your poem was cute. ;) I DO hope he wears socks now though!

  22. Oh my........Bill, Bill, Bill.....
    I wonder if Bill EVER found someone to hook up with???? Whoa, he's intense...intensely horrifying.


  23. Anonymous6:14 PM

    Your post title is right on - that Bill was no thrill!

  24. I can't believe the nerve of that guy!! ICK! I loved the dog poop comment. PERFECT!

  25. How funny! Bill the Pill, lol. I've had a couple doozies in my past. lol. my my my. You've actually jogged my memory a tad lol!

  26. Poor Bill! Sounds like his last name could have been Collector. That's the treatment you gave

  27. Hahahahaha! This cracks me up, Holly.

  28. I got a good chuckle (at your expense, sorry)from that story, thanks! Absolutely love the idea of writing prompts and I may have to check into this further. Sometimes coming up with something good to write outside of the typical can be difficult.

    Great blog and I am definitely following you!

  29. Oh honey, he was a gem! LMAO....9 months later he called? SHeesh...

    I loved this post. Pulling memories out of the 'past dating' bag is always so fun. With a little more perspective under my belt, I find them all the more hilarious!

  30. bill was no thrill is hilarious the worst date i went on that would be fun to write about maybe I will.
    thinking of you and want to see a thursday tablescape

  31. That was great (to read, I mean, probably not so much to experience!).

    The closest I ever had to a bad date was going out with a guy who was shorter than me (I'm 5'4"). He was okay, but I felt a little awkward.

  32. Wow what a weird O ! Thanks for sharing your story :) heading over to your friends blog !

  33. That is just hilarious Holly! I've always found it amusing that some guys (and girls) can be so into themselves that they don't even notice that they're not all that interesting. At least he had himself.

    Thanks for your comments on my jewelry organization! I'd love to see some of your pieces-other people's jewelry fascinates me. It's weird, I know :)

  34. You had me laughing our loud, great post! What memory you have;) Thanks for the sweet comment about my birdies on my blog, maybe you can find some the next time your at the dollar store!

  35. Oh Holly, I would have just died. Seriously though, did he think the rainbow striped bikini underwear was going to excite you? I hope he didn't try that out on other girls too (but I'm guessing since he was so dense that he probably has).

    Very odd. But it certainly makes for a great story!

    And to think he still didn't get the idea nad called you months later!


  36. loved this! I'm always amazed at how some men think so highly of themselves! so unattractive!

  37. I just can't stop laughing! It reminds me of a simular story, that involved a pickle! So darn funny!!!!

  38. Anonymous11:53 AM

    That is just hilarious!! At least he was trying to dress up for ya with his rainbow undies and all. lol

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  40. So cute! reminds me of a first (and last!) date I had with this guy, he took me to see a movie and asked to hold my hand... um ok whatever... about 30 seconds later he starts MAKING OUT WITH MY HAND!! AAAHHH! lol.. I got up and left, weirdo..


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