Saturday, January 23, 2010

Rethink and Grow

Life is about rethinking.
If you don't rethink, you will never grow.
Only as a 30-something woman can I say I finally get that.
When I was in college, or even high school for that matter, it was easy to imagine what my life was going to be...I had it all planned out. I was not going to get married or have kids. I wanted to go to design school in New York (which I did...but in L.A.) and be the next Donna Karan. That was it - end of story - I was going to be fabulous and successful and never look back. Since then I have had to rethink...and rethink...and rethink my plans.

In my early 20's I had to rethink...
what it meant to be an adult.
what responsibility really was.
how I was going to make it on my own.

In my mid 20's I had to rethink...
what it was to be a married woman.
what it meant to be a friend.
changing careers.
forging my own path...what was it going to be...really?

In my 30's I had to rethink...
what it meant to be a mother.
what it meant to be a family.
what it meant to be a good daughter.
what it meant to be successful.
what it meant to love unconditionally.

In my mid 30's (and a little beyond) I had to rethink...
what it means to be a true friend.
my priorities.
my vanity.
my place in this world.
what makes me truly happy, what makes me tick that is mine and mine alone, and that this would not make me a
selfish mother/wife/person.

So what made me rethink about all of this today...
...a small, impromptu get-together with two girlfriends yesterday, and the simple, meaningful, honest discussion we shared...and the pleasure and sense of peace it brought me.

...a campaign by Bare Escentuals that challenged me...challenges all of us to Rethink What Matters. Each Friday through March 26, 2010, Bare Escentuals will pose a new topic for us to consider, to ponder, and to discuss. It is not just about is about living your life and what is truly important. So gather your never know what you'll discover!
This weeks topic: Rethink Going Bare in Public
I would never parade around in the nude (no matter how much 30 Day Shredding I had done!) but I also never leave the house without makeup. I am a makeup lover - did you see my profile, "Mochas, makeup and "I love you Mama" get me through my day!!!!! I have been buying and playing with makeup since I was 10 (although I was not allowed to wear it publicly until I was in 8th grade) I can admit even though I have rethought my vanity...I am still vain.

When I had my son, I vowed that even though I may have that extra baby weight hanging on, and on occasion I may leave the house in yoga pants and possibly a wind breaker (don't judge!) but my makeup will be done and my hair colored, cut, and styled. This was and is my coping makes me feel normal. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good on the inside to look good on the outside.
Want to join in on the discussion...
There are prizes and free products to be had..and more importantly thought provoking topics coming your way. Just visit Rethink What Matters to answer 5 simple questions. Then you can see how your answers compare with others. Seriously it takes no time at all to do this...and you may learn a little something about yourself or your friends! And if you are lucky enough to live in San Fransisco, New York, or Chicago the Quickie Van could be coming your way!

So, do it, go visit Rethink What Matters and come back and tell me if you learned anything! OR just let me now if you are rethinking anything right now! Then come back next week for some more!


DISCLAIMER: So, here's the back story and legal who-ha I must include. I was contacted via email about this campaign and checked it out myself. I thought it was interesting and thought provoking. I was not paid for this review/post or compensated in any way (products or otherwise).


  1. Hi Holly - what a brilliant post!

    I can so relate to this one as I'm a fellow '30 something' female who is certainly used to rethinking and changing my plans as life evolves.

    Even though life presents many unexpected bumps and hurdles at us as we go along, it can certainly help us to grow and prosper ... and do things that we never thought were possible.

    So onwards and upwards to 'rethinking' I say!!

    ... And here, here to Mochas! I'm an addict too!

  2. Oh great post, I will be checking out the Rethink What Matters. I know myself after having 6 children I don't seem to care much about myself.I use to always say I never have the time.. This year is my year and all about me.

    Found you through Friday Follow. Have a great weekend.

  3. holly, this is a great post! i really enjoyed ur "rethink" section:) a very thought provoking campaign indeed. thanks for sharing this link!

  4. Brilliant post.

    Isn't it funny that only recently have I actually gone out in public sans makeup and being somewhat okay about it. I will check out "rethink" for myself. Thanks!

  5. I'm almost 50, even tho I am way overweight and all I feel like a Spring Chick. Now going bare in public, well that's a different story. However as I get older I do wonder where has all the years gone!?
    I remember as a teen I couldn't wait to be older. Now that I am older I'm learning about life funnies as well as life's sadness. Do I want to be young again. No way!

    *Friday Follow*

  6. Okay Holly, I don't wear makeup, and I don't worry about what my hair looks like when I go out, because I don't have any. But your post does hit home in a different way. I've done a lot of re-thinking as I've aged. What mattered earlier in life doesn't matter as much now, or at all. I've learned to relax, to not look at things as a big deal, to roll with the punches. My philosophy is when life throws me a curve, 10,000 years from now will this matter to me. Think about it.....THAT really puts it into perspective.

  7. Anonymous8:14 AM

    Thanks. I am going to check it out. I love gettings topics that make me think about myself and values and place in this world. Amazing how our lives changes and we end up being totally who we vowed at age 15 to never be!

  8. Very thought-provoking! I went by and answered the questions and I am more attached to my make=up than I thought. It's true, b/c I remember missions trips where I did (and still do) make sure I put on even a little bit of make-up. I have been re-thinking the idea of transparency and vulnerability, actually. Make-up is a little symbolic of the cover-up of transparency - the fear of vulnerability, of people seeing us as we are and being OK w/ that. I am still working on it! Thanks for the challenge! I'll be by again!

  9. Never would go bare myself.. but I have left the house without makeup... did just the other day to pick up my son from preschool. But let's just say I felt very aware that I had no makeup, so it is still something I am working on being comfortable with

  10. Great post ~ So VERY true! I've been "rethinking" a few areas and friendships in my life.


  11. Hey Holly! Thanks for following me from the Friday Follow. I'm followin' ya right back! :)

  12. I loved this post! I have been re-thinking things lately too and I've been much happier since I started putting things into perspective!

    I am with you on the makeup thing though. I absolutely hate leaving the house without it, unless I'm going to sit on a beach and can hide behind my tan and sunglasses. I think that part of it is just not wanting to let myself go and taking pride in how I look when I leave the house. I am a mom, but I don't want to look like a "mom." You know what I mean?

  13. Great post!

    I rarely (ok, never) leave the house without having my hair fixed and make-up on. I don't think I'm vain at all, I just like the feeling of being put together.

  14. I really enjoyed this post. Well said and thought provoking!

  15. lol, I leave the house in yoga pants and a windbreaker verrrry often, lol. Btw, the 40's are awesome!

  16. Anonymous1:21 PM

    Before the recent baby I had probably only left the house, sans makeup, three times in my adult life. Now? Now I cannot be bothered. I think that it is part of the slight depression this past year has caused...and you are right that sometimes little things, like mascara and eyeshadow can give you the tiny boost you need. I am going to try and spend more time with the little things that are for "me"

    and as for rethinking...I tend to do this every few years...just a gentle "re-start" and adjustment of goals and emotions. Sometimes life forces me to do it unwillingly but I like it much better when I do it myself! ha.

    (your post was above mine on SITS so I was visiting from the Saturday Sharefest..but wanted to do more than just generically (is that a word?) comment and was a pleasure to read your post and enjoy a little introspection!)

  17. What a great post ! It does seem essential to rethink. I never thought of it that way , Thanks! And Oh I love bareminerals . Been using it for 5 years! What a neat project they started!

  18. Rethink what matters, absolutely..being in the mid 50's I have lived long enough to know that you can be thrown some curve balls and bending around them is necessary. Going nude...thirty of forty years ago, no problem..I lived through some terrific hippie years, but not in my 50's. Thought provoking post..thank you.

  19. Thank you for your sweet visit to my blog Holly! I really appreciate it. Come by anytime my friend!

    What a thoughtful and well written post you have here. Love it and all of your points here.

    I'm adding your precious button to display on my blog. Your blog is just wonderful!

    Many Blessings, ~Melissa :)

  20. Good post. I can relate to the "rethinking" in your 30's. I did a lot of it. It seemed to be a defining time in my life. Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm finding that I really don't think about anything anymore! lol Comfortable with myself, my relationships and my choices. I do worry some about aging but other than that, 40's are a happy place to be.

  21. Anonymous3:25 PM

    Beautiful Post - think I dropped a tear by the end of it.

    I am rethinking and don't know if a bright future stands.

  22. Great post Holly! I love BE makeup. I'll def. check this out.

  23. Anonymous5:35 PM

    Man, this is so timely. How funny that you and I both didn't think we would be married with kids and here we are.

    I am rethinking again now at 36 and wonder where this will take me next.

  24. Anonymous5:38 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  25. I know. I'm on a career path right now, but if I were to meet the right person and/or have children, I'd have to rethink it.

  26. I never thought that I will have disabled child, I never thought that my hubs will lose his "secure" job few months after he turned 50, I never though that we will lose our medical insurance and I NEVER though that I will ever end up in collection...I had to rethink last 4 years of my life and find out my priorities. I had to rethink who I am and who I want to be....

    Great post.

  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

  28. Thanks for comment on my blog. Hope you come back and follow me.

    Enjoy the weekend.

  29. Hi Darling,

    What a great post.

    I knew I was going to have children, but thought I would be SUPER career oriented.

    I am more or less a SAHM with real estate.

    Hope you have a blessed day.

  30. I'm in my 50's and still rethinking my life. Isn't that what we are supposed to do?

    I don't leave the house without makeup, but I do go without it some days if I'm staying home. I would run to the store without is no longer as much vanity as it is habit. I use Bare Escentials...I have for years now and I love it.


  31. Your post in and of itself was quite thought provoking.
    I am ion my late 30's ..and find I have lately had to re-thinnk, re-evaluate where I am and where I want to be.

    Well written girl, loved this.

    PS (vain here can't leave the house without at least eyeliner and gloss)

  32. Sounds interesting. Except I never wear any makeup lol

    Stopping by from Friday Follow :)

  33. You know I think about this stuff a lot, too...being a mom in my 30s,'s tough!! I don't wear much makeup, though. LOL

  34. hey holly,

    I have to admit that I have just barely gotten back in the habit of wearing daily makeup. I always wear a foundation with sun block, but I didn't always wear any other makeup.

    I do feel better about myself when I make an effort on my appearance... but deep down I am a bit of a hippy or "granola" as a couple of my friends call it.

  35. I am thinking what matters can vary so much between different people, but I'm like you in that I won't leave the house without looking completely made up and put together. Inside, I'm a mess, lol!

  36. Rethinking is always good. I like your thoughtful comment on this subject. It sounds interesting to go out with a couple of girlfriends and discuss various subjects.

  37. I totally agree... we need to rethink our lives in stages. So many changes along the way.

  38. Love this post! It's true, over time, our priorities shift and what we think is important changes.
    For the record, I always wear makeup and make sure my hair looks good. I guess that's my coping mechanism!

  39. I am very vain too, Holly. I rarely leave the house without at least a dab of lipstick. And thank God my skin is good, although I am beginning to seriously contemplate botox. I'll go visit that site now.

  40. Great post Mama,,,very thought provoking! I too am a tad "vain"...or maybe even a lot! And sometimes I do feel that focusing on myself (as I tend to do) is a bit self-indulgent and trivial. However we ARE in a world that unfortunately judges by our outward appearance...if only it were simpler and we could be as free as men to simply shower, dress and walk out the door in the morning! HA!

  41. I often forget about rethinking and the way this was written nailed it perfectly. Hmmm...

  42. Holly what a great post!!! I'm in my mid 30's and I've done a lot of rethinking as of late....I realized sometimes it's ok to not have everything maybe i let the dishes sit in the sink until after the kids go to bed b/c reading books or playing jump rope or cards is more important. one day my kids will be gone and i will be left with the dirty dishes...but these moments are precious! i also realize it's ok to be silly and goofy! i think sometimes we get so caught up being 'proper' we forget to be a keeps us young! some days you've just got to take ur shoes off and splash in the rain. (well not today it's freezing out! ha ha)


Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation! I sure hope you come back for more!